Old Dogs Deserve Compassion. Save Some for Their Owners.

Are we (and by “we” I mean me and anyone who is willing to consider the question) being too hard on people who surrender senior dogs to shelters and rescues?

Hear me out…

Old Dogs Are a Lot of Work

This has been a hard few weeks for Snickers. He’ll be 18 years old in a few months, so hard times aren’t a surprise, but knowing it was coming doesn’t make it any less overwhelming.

A few days ago, I was on my hands and knees scrubbing dog poop, and I started cursing how difficult the foam mats in my apartment are to clean. I thought about how much money I’d spent to cover my apartment in these ugly foam mats that are so hard to clean. I spent that money so Snickers still has free roam of most of the apartment after losing the ability to keep his footing on the hardwood floors. Basically, I spent hundreds of dollars to cover my nice floors with something ugly that’s hard to clean for a dog that is increasingly likely to poop on it.

So, I’m on my knees, scrubbing poop, late leaving for the office, and I realize how ridiculous the situation would seem to most people. Even some of the “dog crazy” people out there would think I am certifiable if they knew all the changes made and money spent to accommodate Snick’s failing body and mind over this past year.

I haven’t reached my breaking point, but I’ve come close. I called my daughter just today, sobbing, and feeling guilty for being frustrated with how much work Snick is. She reminded me that being tired doesn’t mean I don’t love him, and I shouldn’t feel guilty.

Everyone’s capacity for caretaking is different. Some people can handle a lot more than I can; some people can’t handle as much. We should try not to judge other people’s actions based on our own capacity.

Old Dogs Aren’t as Pliable as Young Dogs

In 2009, we adopted a 16-year-old Shiba. Her person (who I always imagined was an old lady, but I really have no idea) had died and her family didn’t want her. They dumped her in a shelter. She was old and blind and must have been so lost. When the shelter staff walked her out to us, she bounced out so happy. It was heartbreaking. I imagined she thought her person was there to get her. She spent the last six months of her life with us. We poured love and affection all over her like you wouldn’t believe. Every time we went out for a walk though, she bounced out the door, and, every time, I imagined she thought we were taking her back to her person. Hope springs eternal, especially in old dogs.

Snickers is more than a year older now than Brandy was when she died. He’s mostly blind now too, and he does things that remind me of her. If I were to die, he would be lost. Not even being with my daughter – his most favoritest person other than me – would soothe his broken heart each time he searched for me to no avail. I honestly believe that the only compassionate solution would be to put him to sleep. You may read that and – knowing at least something about mine and Snick’s relationship – think “yes, that would be best.” But what if you didn’t know me? What if you knew my neighbor and she told you “Yesterday, my neighbor died suddenly, and her family put her senior dog to sleep!!” Don’t lie. You’d be horrified and angry.

Dropping him at a shelter like Brandy’s family did would be intolerably cruel, but what about rehoming him? Without all the facts, you would likely believe rehoming him would be good. With all the facts however, you’d probably agree that humane euthanasia would be far better than putting him into foster care or really any other arrangement.

I am amazed by how quickly dogs can adjust to new situations. That doesn’t necessarily apply to very senior dogs though. Was Brandy happier with me than in a shelter? Of course! Was she better off than if she’d been humanely euthanized after her person passed away? There’s no way for me to know for sure, but I think she was not. I know that Snick would be distraught, confused, and heartbroken if he was rehomed.

Snick and I Are Lucky

I’ve been incredibly lucky in Snick’s old age that (1) my job allows me the flexibility to work from home in the mornings, so I’m only away from him for half the day, (2) I make enough money to feed him excellent raw food and give him prescriptions and supplements every day that help keep him comfortable, and (3) I don’t currently have any other caretaking responsibilities (small children, infirm parents, etc.) using up my patience and capacity for empathy.

My luck in life means Snickers is a lucky dog who is incredibly well taken care of in his senior years.

Not Everyone is So Lucky

Senior dogs are hard to take care of, and they don’t really do well with change.

Now, consider someone with an aging dog – a dog that needs the amount of care Snick needs – who finds themselves in any number of situations such as:

• They’re unable to be home as much as the dog needs, so they aren’t there to help him stand when he drinks or to clean up his poop [usually] before he falls in it.
• They can’t afford pain medications, antibiotics, prescription food, supplements to help keep him regular, or CBD oil for pain and anxiety.
• They lose their job and must move to a home in which their old, blind dog will be lost and confused.
• They have other concerns which are also using up their physical and emotional energy.

Once an average pet owner reaches their breaking point – wherever that may be – with taking care of their senior dog, they may believe they are doing the best thing for their dog by surrendering him or her. Choosing to put a pet to sleep is horribly difficult even when you’re sure it’s time, but what if that person honestly thinks that Spot or Fluffy will be better off with “24-hour care and medical attention” at the shelter?

That word – shelter – is such a euphemism. Maybe if we called them “the overcrowded, sad places where unwanted and old dogs die of loneliness, illness, or possibly euthanasia,” people would have a better concept. But it’s easier to get funding for a place called “shelter.”

Or maybe they just can’t bear to be the one to take that last walk with their dog. Maybe they don’t realize how much better the end will be for their pet if they stay with them and hold them.

What Can We Do?

We need to find ways to support pet owners who are taking care of old and/or sick pets.

Maybe we can educate people about “shelters,” but we also have to provide alternatives. It isn’t OK to just say “shelters are scary, and you are evil if you don’t keep your pet,” and then walk away like our job is done. Maybe they need assistance so caring for their senior dog isn’t so overwhelming. Maybe we can provide a foster/hospice care home for their dog if that would be best. (Rescue organizations are usually at capacity with old dogs. We can’t expect them to find homes or funds for every pet unless we help by fostering and donating.) Maybe they just need someone to hold their hand so they can make the choice to humanely euthanize their pet (and be with them till the end).

We need to extend our compassion for animals to include the pet owners who may need our help instead of lambasting them for not making the choices we make.

What do you think we can do to help keep more senior pets with their people until the end?